Warning Label for Chrysler; Maybe

Consumer Action, the Center for Auto Safety, the Center for Justice, and the National Consumers League asked the Federal Trade Commission to require that Chrysler vehicles display stickers warning buyers of risks in future liability claims.

Chrysler successfully established freedom from obligation on product liability on cars made before May 30, when it was purchased by the Italian automaker Fiat.

The consumer groups asked the commission to make an emergency amendment to the "use car rule" which demands warning labels to be affixed to windows that discloses purchasing and warranty information. The label reads: "This vehicle was produced prior to the date when the Chrysler bankruptcy was approved. If you buy this vehicle and are injured or killed, even if your injuries were caused by the manufacturer, you or your survivors will not be able to recover your losses by taking action against the manufacturer. If your passengers are injured or killed, even if their injuries were caused by the manufacturer, they and their survivors will not be able to recover their losses by taking action against the manufacture.

Representative Andre Carson (D-Ind.) has proposed legislation that would require all automakers to purchase liability insurance if they are majority-owned by the federal government.

General Custer Rides Again Via McDonald"s Happy Meals

McDonald's has begun selling Happy Meals complete with a toy of General Custer. Why are Indian activists disturbed by this idea?

Those wonderful people at McDonald's must have completely lost every fiber of sensitivity when they began selling Happy Meals, in the Dakotas, with, of all things, a gift, a toy, a Custer toy. The accompanying card read, " Ever heard of Custer's last stand? It was named after George Armstrong Custer who lead his troops into the battle at Little Big Horn."

Belva Morrison, Indian child welfare specialist for the Lakota Law Project, said, "It is insensitive for local merchants to hand out these dolls where there is a large Indian population. They should have thought twice about promoting these figurines. I don't believe we're overreacting. I think we are not tolerating things like this anymore. They're targeting young kids whose minds are easily impressed."

So what's the big deal? It seems that ole "Golden Hair" Custer went on an Indian killing raid with his Cavalry in Indian Territory ( Oklahoma) , killing Cheyenne, Arapaho, and Cherokee back in 1868. ( I hate dates, too, but stay with me on this.) Eight years later, Custer and 700 men of his 7th cavalry were wiped completely out by the Lakota at a place called "Little Big Horn" at Montana, just a rock's throw from South Dakota.

Make no mistake the Lakota (Sioux) had a complete history of what happened in Oklahoma at the Battle of Washita, but they also knew full well that Custer was responsible for the discovering of gold in the Black Hills of South Dakota that led to the theft of over $120,000,000 of that precious asset on sacred land that has never been returned.

So one can imagine the disturbing sight of having a child reach into to his/her Happy Meal only to find a figurine that would anger any Native American parent who wasn't asleep in history class or listened intently to his family oral history

At last report customers in the Rapid City area were told there were no more Custer dolls in the Happy Meals. Sadly, the PR folks at Mickey D's didn't have the corporate sense or historic knowledge to correct such a huge mistake

A Reason for More Bleach in The Gene Pool: The Darwin Awards

It’s that time again folks. The Darwin Awards are finally out. The annual honor given to the persons who did the gene pool the biggest service by killing themselves in the most extraordinarily stupid way. Last year’s winner was the fellow who was killed by a Coke machine which toppled over on top of him as he was attempting to tip a free soda out.

This year’s winner was a real rocket scientist…… HONEST!

Read on…… And remember that each and every one of these is a TRUE STORY.

And the nominees were:

Semifinalist #1
A young Canadian man, searching for a way of getting drunk cheaply, because he had no money with which to buy alcohol, mixed gasoline with milk. Not surprisingly, this concoction made him ill, and he vomited into the fireplace in his house. This resulting explosion and fire burned his house down, killing both him and his sister.

Semifinalist #2
Three Brazilian men were flying in a light aircraft at low altitude when another plane approached. It appears that they decided to moon the occupants of the other plane, but lost control of their own aircraft and crashed. They were all found dead in the wreckage with their pants around their ankles.

Semifinalist #3
A 22-year-old Reston , VA , man was found dead after he tried to use octopus straps to bungee jump off a 70-foot rail road trestle.. Fairfax County police said Eric Barcia, a fast food worker, taped a bunch of these straps together, wrapped an end around one foot, anchored the other end to the trestle at Lake Accotink Park , jumped and hit the pavement. Warren Carmichael, a police spokesman, said investigators think Barcia was alone because his car was found nearby. ‘The length of the cord that he had assembled was greater than the distance between the trestle and the ground,’ Carmichael said. Police say the apparent cause of death was ‘Major trauma..’

Semifinalist #4
A man in Alabama died from rattlesnake bites. It seems that he and a friend were playing a game of catch, using the rattlesnake as a ball. The friend - no doubt a future Darwin Awards candidate - was hospitalized.

Semifinalist #5
Employees in a medium-sized warehouse in west Texas noticed the smell of a gas leak. Sensibly, anagement evacuated the building extinguishing all potential sources of ignition; lights, power, etc. After the building had been evacuated, two technicians from the gas company were dispatched. Upon entering the building, they found they had difficulty navigating in the dark. To their frustration, none of the lights worked. Witnesses later described the sight of one of the technicians reaching into his pocket and retrieving an object that resembled a cigarette lighter. Upon operation of the lighter-like object, the gas in the warehouse exploded, sending pieces of it up to three miles away. Nothing was found of the technicians, but the lighter was virtually untouched by the explosion. The technician suspected of causing the blast had never been thought of as ”bright” by his peers.

Now, the winner of this year’s Darwin Award (awarded, as always, posthumously):
The Arizona Highway Patrol came upon a pile of smoldering metal embedded in the side of a cliff rising above the road at the apex of a curve. The wreckage resembled the site of an airplane crash, but it was a car. The type of car was unidentifiable at the scene. Police investigators finally pieced together the mystery. An amateur rocket scientist had somehow gotten hold of a JATO unit (Jet Assisted Take Off, actually a solid fuel rocket) that is used to give heavy military transport planes an extra ‘push’ for taking off from short airfields. He had driven his Chevy Impala out into the desert and found a long, straight stretch of road. He attached the JATO unit to the car, jumped in, got up some speed and fired off the JATO!
The facts, as best as could be determined, are that the operator of the 1967 Impala hit the JATO ignition at a distance of approximately 3.0 miles from the crash site. This was established by the scorched and melted asphalt at that location.

The JATO, if operating properly, would have reached maximum thrust within 5 seconds, causing the Chevy to reach speeds well in excess of 350 mph and continuing at full power for an additional 20-25 seconds. The driver, and soon to be pilot, would have experienced G-forces usually reserved for dog fighting F-15 jocks under full afterburners, causing him to become irrelevant for the remainder of the event.

However, the automobile remained on the straight highway for about 2.5 miles (15-20 seconds) before the driver applied and completely melted the brakes, blowing the tires and leaving thick rubber marks on the road surface, then becoming airborne for an additional 1.4 miles and impacting the cliff face at a height of 125 feet leaving a blackened crater 3 feet deep in the rock. Most of the driver’s remains were not recoverable..

However, small fragments of bone, teeth and hair were extracted from the crater, and fingernail and bone shards were removed from a piece of debris believed to be a portion of the steering wheel.
Epilogue: It has been calculated that this moron attained a ground speed of approximately 420-mph, though much of his voyage was not actually on the ground.

You couldn’t make this stuff up, could you?

Remember, these people are breeding and, God help us, voting.

Source: Rob Polanski